If you own a tree that has branches that hang over a public sidewalk, can you please trim back any branches that are less than 7 feet above the sidewalk?

I am pro tree.

I am anti wet leaves to the face…twice in one morning

Pay your respects here…

this is a great compendium of comics dealing with the douchebaggery of hecklers:

(from EasyJo)

Pulp Elizabethan Fiction:

J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!

Much more here.

in case you haven’t been privvy to “ghost-riding the whip”, for background, here’s the original source of inspiration, my personal favorite interpretation (ghost ride the delorean), and now, ghost-riding the MRAP (via jalopnik):

Favorite comment from this thread:

“OK, soldier, so at the time of the IED detonation, where did you say Major Evans was?”

“He was krumping sir. Or possibly clowning. I’m not positive. It was dark.”

just finished this book last week. it is a must-read for anyone who loves music the way that I do. It’s unbelievable how true many of the passages read:

#1: on his love of GbV:

To say that I’m merely a fan of his music wouldn’t give my obsession the “Uh, you’re scaring me” heft it deserves. Remember the totals on my iTunes play count? That’s nothing. Not counting the Dayton trip, which promised to scorch my savings, I’d already spent more than one thousand dollars in the previous year on ephemera relating to the band. I have called one of my closest friends a dick for asking if Guided By Voices is a religious band. It has been suggested, by one of the few people who knows the depths of my fanship, that I’ve lost perspective where the band is concerned. To this I can only retort that I really don’t care, Greg.

#2: on listening to music in cars:

On a dreary Ohio morning in October 2004, I was banging on the steering wheel of a rented Hyundai and shouting the lyrics to the greatest song ever written. I am usually against displays of exuberance while driving in rentals, as I’m scared that a guy back at the agency is watching me on closed-caption spy-cam and laughing hard enough to make his Arizona Iced Tea come out his nose. I am also cowed by the potential scorn of other drivers. I know that whenever I look over and see some goon energetically mouthing the words to a song I cant hear, I assume the worst: Creed.

A sampling of the finest in robot writing:

I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Not tonight honey, I’m heterosexual, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

Hey!, was searching Google for bleached blonde hair and your blog regarding a scientist reviews godless looks really interesting for me. I will definitely bookmark it and come back for more cool postings to read! Cheers!

Your Website contributes swell stories about people more awesome than r, part deux! You should know this amazing data is greatly precise.

ohmigod. this is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

Craigslist ad for $1 cement blocks: “You want the blocks? Come get the fucking blocks and give me one dollar for every block you take. How fucking hard is that? You don’t have to tell me what you’re building. I don’t give a fuck.”

Click here for the whole thing.
(via Daring Fireball)

Most of the time I wish I was taller. I once heard the basketball legend Bill Walton, who is a fellow red head, say that he thought everyone who is under 6′10″ is a genetic defect. (Bill Walton is 6′11″) I thought it was funny, and I always wished to not be a genetic defect…

This morning, however, I walked into my bathroom and I walked full speed into the glass light in the ceiling with my forehead. The glass light instantly shattered all over me. Since my original plan was to get a shower full of water and not glass, this morning was one of the few times in my life that I did not wish that I was taller…

Baseball has been said to be our national pastime. Many sports commentators, however, have concluded that football has replaced baseball in this respect. Even if this is true, baseball is rich with history and tradition. One legend of baseball’s past is that the New York Yankees chose to use vertical pin stripes in their uniforms because vertical pin stripes create a slimming effect that was much needed by their franchise player, Babe Ruth.

I also have heard growing up that wearing a lot of black creates this slimming effect. If this is true, I may need to change my wardrobe because I wear a lot of black and I am often described as looking emaciated…even by people that have seen me with my shirt off.

Apparently, another fashion trend needs to be added to list of clothing choices that can help create a slimming effect…leopard print… I have noticed that a lot of older women that are heavy set tend to wear leopard print…and a lot of it from head to toe. Why is this? I have always wondered. Maybe, it is slimming. To be fair, I cannot say that I have ever seen what appears to be an obese leopard, but I cannot honestly attest to seeing very many leopards. Looking back on it though, maybe the slimming effect only works on actual leopards…

I live in Boston, and Boston is definitely not the city of brotherly love…

Last night, I was supposed to have dinner downtown. On the way there, traffic, as always, was growing as we were getting closer to downtown. Traffic was so bad, that we were going to miss our dinner reservations.

We decided to go onto plan B, which entailed having dinner in South Boston where traffic and, more importantly, parking is better. As we are going down the main street where the restaurants are, we saw a couple getting into their car parked on the street. It was as close to rock star parking as one could hope for. As usual, we pulled up, put on the blinker, waited for the car to pull out, and began to parallel park. Unfortunately, a car swooped in and stole the spot by pulling into the spot forward. Then the following conversation took place:

Me: “Oh, come on.”
Driver: “You shouldn’t stop traffic like that.”
Me: “Dick!”

At this very moment, another couple saw what was going on and were, as luck would have it, about to get into their car to leave from the very next spot. This new couple got into their Toyota SUV, turned on the ignition, put the car into reverse, purposely backed into the car that had stolen our spot, began to pull out…hesitated to give us a thumbs up…and drove off into the night…

Karma can be a bitch sometimes…or karma could be a driver in a Toyota SUV!!!

A: a single president? never happen
R: why not? he’d be hitting everything in sight
A: cause if he isn’t married, he might be gay!
R: heh– fair point
A: and God would melt the polar ice caps and kill millions of Americans to spite us if we ever elected a gay president
R: could you imagine the reporting– “The President was in Brazil yesterday, discussing the future of the United States’ relationship with South America. While there, he hit some fine Brazillian ass.”

trent reznor is an exotic bird