Archive for the 'Food' Category

Hindsight About My Heinie

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

In a three week span in December, I gained 28 pounds. Yes, I know that 28 pounds is a huge number…even unbelievable. Yes, I realize that some of that was because I had lost some weight during finals, so I naturally gained some of that back quickly. Yes, some of the weight was probably “water weight”, whatever that is. Yes, I did use different scales at different times of the day. However, I did gain a lot of weight…I can prove it. I have lost most of the weight in the months since then, but I have not lost the stretch marks on my hips that occurred during that fateful three week time span…

In hindsight, I should have spent my entire school break soaking in a vat of Jergens in order to avoid these permanent marks of disfigurement…Who will love me now???

THE KING

Saturday, April 21st, 2007

I don’t generally like to embed YouTube vids into the site (though others of us clearly have no such compunction), but I’m making an exception this time for due to the extreme awesomeness of this one.

I’m already a sucker for THE KING and his creepy plastic face and couple that with both The Safety Dance and some gratuitous ill will, well, I just really can’t resist…

Analogy of the Day

Saturday, October 28th, 2006

Wine analogies for Irvine Welch’s Trainspotting/Porno characters. This is more about the novels than the movie, although true about both to an extent.

Sick Boy (the handsome guy, I forget which actor):
Cabernet Sauvignon. Great depth, a complex and rewarding experience. Best of the lot.

Renton (Ewan McGregor’s character):
Merlot. Both are very well known and highly rated by very many, but not particularly dynamic.

Begbie (the psycho):
Cabernet Franc. Possibly the single most stimulating element, but too much stimulation causes a numbing effect. The quotient should be limited to roughly 3 to 10% of the blend.

Spud (the stuttery guy with big glasses):
White wine. Both have a fair enough raison d’etre in the abstract, but neither belongs in the first person. They get wack very quickly, if not immediately.

Additions to the list are welcome.

Staples…

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

I have a fear of staples…

Not the store. I have a fear of eating staples. I just do not understand why delivery places will staple bags together. I am scared that I will open the bag and the staples will fall into my food, I will eat the staples, and then I will fail in my attempt to digest the staple.

I seriously open the bag with the care of a surgeon making the first incision of his career because of this fear. Is there not a better way to keep the heat of the food in the bag? How about stickers? I would even tolerate velcro. I even think velcro would be a classy touch…Fine dining…delivery style…

Their tea’s bad, but Lipton makes my Gama happy so I forgive them.

Friday, September 15th, 2006

For those who know me, and much to r’s delight, this is a post about tea.

Recently, Lipton has announced a new pyramidal shaped tea bag — which, to those out there, is far from an original idea, but is a new leaf for the Lipton Tea brands (NY Times article; username: supernicety, password: password).

Curiously, the pyramid nylon bags took Lipton two years to develop. Other tea distributors I’m familiar with have had pyramid bags for ..oh, about two years or so. Lipton is finally catching up and finally acknowledging the quality differences.

But companies began compromising quality, and before long the little paper pouches were filled with the lowest grades of tea. Consumers did not object. In fact, they liked the fact that the minute particles in tea bags required but a few seconds in hot water to produce deeply colored, strong flavored liquid.

But Lipton is cautiously wandering down this “tea can be good” path.

Mr. Cheetham [Lipton’s Royal Estates tea master, who selects and blends teas] acknowledged that Lipton’s flavored varieties were “entry level” teas. And they are a far cry from Harney & Sons’s Dragon Pearl Jasmine or Mighty Leaf’s Darjeeling Choice Estate, which are sold in bags that cost 30 cents to $2 each and available at tea shops, fancy food shops and online. Lipton’s Pyramid teas, at $3.49 for 20 tea bags, cost less than 20 cents a cup. Ordinary tea bags average 2 to 8 cents a cup.

“Lipton’s Pyramid will bring premium tea to the masses,” Mr. Cheetham said.

I would like to point out that Lipton is really really late. With so many other tea companies out there producing affordable tea, their more expensive “premium” tea will be just another selection in the alphabetical ranks on a grocery shelf.

There are some choice quotes from the article that I want to chortle about:

Mr. Simrany [the president of the Tea Association of the USA] said, “the new tea bags are changing consumer attitudes toward tea; the snobbism is gone.”

Ha!
Pyramid shapes be damned. I will still insist that the best tea is brewed OUT of the bag.

And even though the better tea bags will produce an excellent cup of tea, some of the finer points of tea making have been lost, like the different water temperatures and steeping times required, depending on whether the tea is black, oolong or green. An exception is the tea made by Le Palais des Thés: a suggested temperature and brewing time is printed on the foil packets that contain the muslin tea bags. But how many tea drinkers pay attention to those arcane details anyway?

Hahaha!
I have a theory: Ms. Fabricant, our dear author, does not like tea. Nor has she drank good tea brewed to a specific range of temperatures. I forgive her for this because she wrote the article that finally let me write about tea here at the Supernicety and because her first name is Florence, a city in Italy, which is a country I want to return to. So see? She is the blameless, somewhat ignorant-but-she-wrote-it-anyway author of an article that makes Lipton look silly.

I don’t think some of her word choices reveal her impatience and stupidity regarding her subject at all.

And yes, for the record, I an not bitchy enough to not give Lipton the benefit of the doubt — I will purchase one of their froufy teas and growl only limitedly at the non-biogradeable nylon bags.

For your inner Vegetarian*.

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

Romaine Lettuce (cut and washed by you or magically found as such in a bag.)
Carrots (see above parenthetical instructions).
Mushrooms (you know the drill).
Apple — Fuji may be the preferred — cut and washed by yourself.
Cherry Tomatoes, cut and washed.
Scallions.
Celery.
Goat Cheese.
Morning Star “Chicken” Nuggets.
Dressing of choice. I suggest something light tasting; an Italian or Oil and Vinegar is fail safe.

Approx. 20 minutes of prep time.
Heat and cook the nuggets; directions on the box.
Wash, cut and assemble the other items to your heart’s content during the 15-18 minutes it takes to cook the “chicken”.
After the “ding”, cut up the nuggets.

Instant yummy. a may suggest a feta, which truly would be just as good. The goat cheese adds a soury-sweet tone to which the apple battles endlessly and both are ample “sides” to the fake chicken that you all should stop cringing at by now.

Possibly additions:
Grapes.
Pinto Beans (from a can’s fine — just drain, wash, sprinkle and eat.)
Hard Boiled Eggs.
Bacon**.

* I know you’re in there! Between the second helpings of chili and large orders of ribs, there’s a vegetarian crying out to be heard!
** Never said I was a vegetarian.

Violations of Existential Mandate

Friday, June 9th, 2006

A thought experiment : What is a hammer that can’t drive nails?

How about a car that can’t roll?

A chair you can’t sit on?

Enough examples, I think. Now, what’s your answer?

Mine? Ok, here goes. A hammer that can’t drive nails IS NOT A HAMMER. A car that doesn’t roll is NOT A CAR. A chair you can’t sit on is NOT A CHAIR.

Each of these cases demonstrates a violation of existential mandate. These theorized objects lack the very feature that most critically defines what they are. Ergo, they are not those things. Plato discussed this too.

So, that’s all theory, you say. So what, right? Well here are some other examples :

What is Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits if they don’t have Chicken?

What is Burger King without hamburgers?

I think the logic is pretty clear, but just to be explicit, Popeyes CAN’T NOT HAVE CHICKEN. That’s what they DO. It’s what they ARE. Burger King without burgers just isn’t Burger King. It’s part of the NAME. Burger King IS burgers.

I wen’t to BK today and they had no burgers. I’m not sure why the building was even still there. If I ran a law firm, and all the lawyers were gone, I think it’s safe to say my purpose in continuing to run that business would be in serious doubt.

No BURGERS at BURGER KING!

Plato would be disgusted.

Keeping it Real in the Kitchen, #1

Wednesday, June 7th, 2006

A little salad dressing action for y’all :

  • Juice of 1/2 Lime
  • About a teaspoon of finely chopped ginger
  • 4 tsp rice vinegar
  • 3 tsp balsamic vinegar
  • Dash of sugar
  • 2 tblsp Walnut oil
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • Some freshly ground pepper

Shake it up or stir it or whatever. It should be about enough for 3 salads. Double or triple it if you need.